Hey, everyone. Sorry I haven't been in touch. As you know I'm a little under the weather but I guess I can still go online and post something interesting and "christmassy" while I'm away. So here goes...

In the Western world (whatever that may mean) the Christmas season is virtually inescapable. We have come to accept certain images quite matter-of-factly. The white Christmas stereotype, which doesn't make much sense in Australia or Argentina, is one of those Eurocentric references. The truth is Christmas is full of amusing contradictions. For example, some of the most beloved Christmas song (like the aforementioned "White Christmas") were written by Jewish composers. The alleged date of the birth of Christ, which was officially established in the 4th century, is most likely wrong. According to most scholars, Jesus was probably born between 6 and 4 B.C. Anyhow, for those of you that have a weakness for that sort of thing here you have an entertaining list of bizarre facts about Christmas.

Of course, Christmas is not a universal festivity. In Arab states and some Asian countries, for instance, Christmas is still foreign and exotic, not unlike Ramadan or the Chinese New Year in Spain. Speaking of China, how many times have we heard that someone's niece is learning "Chinese"? We all kind of understand what people mean by that, but strictly speaking that is not accurate at all. As I have often said in the classroom, there several languages which certain people keep calling "Chinese". I'm referring to Mandarin, Wu, Cantonese, Jin, Gang, Hakka, Min, Xiang, Ping, etc... All of them are mutually unintelligible. So is it really okay to lump them together? Something analogous happens to Arabic. Anyway, the cartoon below is quite the eye-opener:

Hi there, my dearest Intemediate students! Today's entry brings you some grammar exercises so you can practice those conditional sentences that have become our new obsession. It won't take you long. Plus you are just a click away from the correct answers.

For the members of that fast-growing cult that has formed in my pronunciation classes I have decided to post this interesting video that shows a voice coach trying to explain how to speak English with a Spanish accent. We can look at it from a different angle: how to avoid precisely what he is teaching. Enjoy.

Sorry C1 students. There'll be something for you in my next post...

This time I thought I could share with you all this little video I edited a couple of months ago for my C1 class. It shows C1 students reminiscing about experiences they treasure. I believe they did a good job. Check out their vocabulary. That's what C1 is all about. Enjoy.

Hey, Intermediate crowd! I was pleased to see that some of you decided to attend my talk last Thursday. It was fun, wasn't it? I hope you learnt a thing or two about natural languages too. Today I just wanted to share a little something with all of you. It's this cover of a movie that I recently bought for my kids. As you can see, it's a well-known well-produced film with bucketloads of money behind it... Yet a grammar mistake went unnoticed. Can you spot it? Here is the cover:

Nobody is perfect, right?

Hey! I have neglected you a little, haven't I? Well... I've been busy. That doesn't mean that I haven't thought of you. To prove it I took this picture:

My pronunciation freaks will immediately understand the reason for the text in the postcard (if not its actual meaning). Anyway, how is it going? Can you pronounce you and Jew differently? Keep working on it. We have already covered a lot of ground: the day, everybody, you're a Jew, America and all those words with the repeated vowel (image, vintage, ticket, etc.).

What else? Oh yes! I got news! I got news! Next week I will be busy doing some lecturing. On Wednesday I'm going to give a talk in Castro Urdiales (19:00 Salón de actos del IES Ataúlfo Argenta) about constructed languages in Hollywood. I will make the same presentation in Laredo the day after, that is, on Thursday 20 at 19:00, most probably in our classroom.

Those of you who find the topic interesting enough might want to check out this five-minute presentation created by linguist John McWhorter. Think of it as an appetizer. My talk will consist of a brief history of conlanging (the creation of constructed languages) followed by a discussion of the most relevant projects that have become so popular over the past 30 years. I will show clips of Klingon, Sindarin, Dothraki, Na'vi and up to 20 fictional languages that have been used in TV series and motion pictures.

I promise to address specific Intermediate issues as well as some areas that my C1 students should find appealing.

Hi again, I'm back. Yes.
My dear pronunciation freaks: you may feel slightly frustrated by the challenges you have already encounter. If sequences such as "the day" are something of a tongue twister to you or you still struggle to say "decision" you might get a kick out of this video:

As you will notice, this video was edited in the U.S.A., where a significant number of people believe that "white" people are never native Speakers of Spanish, that is to say, they don't even consider European Spanish Speakers and, well, all those Caucasian Latin Americans simply don't exist. Anyway, take comfort in the thought that pronunciation is tough for everyone.

To my C1 students: we have started to explore that overwhelming world of words and expressions. For the time being you should probably concentrate on how to broaden your horizon in terms of vocab. Some C1 features that have been mentioned in the classroom include: a learner's ability to hesitate, to be vague, to use idioms or colorful phrases, in other words, to sound "interesting". Check the differences between these two utterances:

B2 student: I felt really uncomfortable but I don't have much money so I had to accept the situation.
C1 student: You know what it's like... I was out of my comfort zone, to say the least... But I'm a guy on a budget so I had to basically grin and bear it.

Idioms are, by definition, unnecessary, they just add some flavor to your speech and generally make you sound more natural. If you're interested in idioms I suggest you take a look at this funny list.

Oh! I forgot my intermediate students. Okay, okay... How about this list of REAL celebrity names? Not bad for a Tuesday morning, isn't it?

Hi everybody! I'm just checking that my old blog still works. Okay. I wanted to let you all know that I'm going to start posting pretty soon. That's all for now.

Exams looming ahead, the dreadded deadline is nigh! Is it “prone to jump” or “prone to jumping”? wonders a C1 student (both are correct. I use the latter, though). Should I plant a conditional sentence in the oral exam? thinks an Intermediate student. Let me tell you something. When it comes to oral tests there’s no such thing as a magic formula. That said, I can give you a couple of pointers you may want to consider…

Intermediate learners. One of the adjectives you should probably avoid is "important" (we’ve seen “influential”, “relevant”, “major”, etc.). Remember that a film can be entertaining, enjoyable, predictable, for example. Please, please don’t just say it’s a good movie, it’s a good idea. Ideas can be original, practical, unrealistic, etc.

C1 students. You are expected to show some serious knowledge of collocations and specific vocabulary “ruthless assassin” belongs to your spectrum. “Horrible killer” is definitely a no-no. Although I can imagine that sometimes a basic expression might be the only option that comes to mind. Anyhow, here’s a tip: use your hesitation to your own advantage. Show that you know how to hesítate in English (let me organize my thoughts for a seconds, I’m afraid I lost the thread, what I’m trying to get at is, and so on and so forth…).

Hello!!! I know, I know... It's been a while. Well, well...

My intermediate students might want to check out this website which offers some simple exercises that will allow you to practise those relative sentences you may or may not have problems with. Did you notice how cleverly I slipped THREE relative sentences in the previous sentence? Isn't that genius? Speaking of genius... My C1 students are still dumbfounded after that C2 + display on Monday. Granted, that excerpt from "The West Wing" may have been too demanding but hey you should be ready to face up to those kinds of challenges. Anyhow, I thought you might get a kick out of a this thought-provoking article that also delves into the murky waters of intelligence. It's a little long and clearly C2 but it's worth reading, if only for its vocabulary. By the way you probably know that The New Yorker is a magazine that centers on the cultural life of New York city. It's the kind of smart magazine that any would-be Woody Allen ought to read once in a while. For those of you less prone to bookish intellectualism here is a fun (short) article about real blunders made by businesspeople who should know better. That's all for now.

Jorge Luis Borges was blind and old when he traveled to Egypt. He crouched down and ran his fingers through the African sand for a while, after which he remarked that, by doing that, he had altered the face of the desert. Poetic, hyperbolic and yet accurate. By the same token one could easily argue that he had also changed not only a part of the desert but also the universe… My mind wanders to that anecdote every time someone I know dies…

María is gone. She passed last week. I believe she was only 32 years old… and no matter how odd we may consider the statement. The universe is slightly different today. Our classes will certainly not be the same every Monday and Wednesday at 16:00.

Those of you who were in the classroom last Wednesday may remember how I mentioned that some Americans don’t seem to be aware of the word “chickpea”. Instead they use the rather contradictory term “garbanzo bean”. Likewise, I said, they wouldn’t probably know what to call a “bota de vino”. María objected that she had seen “botas de vino” in a U.S. store which were not labeled “wineskins” (the actual word in English) but “bota bags”. She then produced her cellphone and proceeded to show us a photo that proved her claim. I asked her to email me that picture so I could upload it here. Well, María did send me the photograph (which you can see below these lines). May she rest in peace.

Okay, what can I say? I’m busy. I know it may sound like a rather poor excuse but the truth is… researching all my jokes takes up most of my time I got. So, now you know my secret: I can't really improvise a joke. I use jokes I find on the internet and I rehearse them so I can slip them into my classes and pass them off as material of my own.

Ok.. seriously, I am busy. Honestly. The exams are round the corner and, as you probably know, it's my duty to take care of the technical side of things (checking computers, editing and burning CDs and DVDs and that kind of stuff). It's time-consuming and not as fun as teaching you guys but someone's gotta do it, right?

Anyhow, I decided you may get a kick out this on-line English test. Regardless of your EOI level it will certainly boost your self-esteem quite a bit. Trust me on this.

Of course I also have news. C1 students! Do not forget that being an EOI student this year does not automatically guarantee you will have a place in October (should you choose to come back). The official registration process should start sometime in July.

More stuff, for those of you intermediate students that didn't come to class the day we discussed the Scottish accent you may want to check out this classic (and hilarious) clip which comes to show how complicated pronunciation is even among native speakers!

Hello everyone. Some of my intermediate students have pointed out that I have neglected them a little. Granted, my latest posts deal with issues that only the C1 class might find relevant. That's why I've decided to come up with something that all of you should find interesting. It is quite simple, really. I would like you to watch this video and think about the level you think those candidates have... We will discuss it in the classroom.

Thanks Pedro for sending me the link to yesterday's BOC. It seems now that our dear rulemakers have decided to (once and for all) call a spade a spade (if you know what I mean). Up until just a few days the official term for the title was "acreditación". Oddly enough, I have just noticed that the latest version of the "Guía del Candidato" (not the one available on Educantabria, which is dated) consistently makes use of the expression "certificación" when it refers to the C1 exam, as does the aforementioned BOC. On page 3 of yesterday's issue we can actually read the following :

La posesión del Certificado del Nivel C1 acredita una competencia de idioma del nivel C1 del Consejo de Europa. 

All I can say is... this has been a rather convoluted affair. There has been a number of unclear and even contradictory message. I trust the matter has been officially settled. It appears you guys are going to have the chance to obtain a real certificate. So be it! As far as I'm aware, though, you will have to register for the exam and pay the fees (all of you except for Puerto). Good luck!

For those of you that got curious about Reggie Watts here is the entire video as you may watch it on YouTube. After enjoying this performance you might be ready to say that you've seen as much as you have seen. Anyhow, we agreed that this may be C2 stuff. Still, there's loads you can learn from Mr. Watts. How to waffle in style could be the most practical aspect of it all (dynamic changes and thought processes being not necessarily excluded).

Before I forget, there's something my C1 students should know. This may actually sound a little weird but the fact is those of you who decide to take the June examination will obtain what has come to be termed "acreditación nacional", which means (in plain English) it is a kind of certificate that will attest your command of the English language and ought to be recognized anywhere is Spain. Having said that nobody in the upper echelons of our dear Consejería de Educación y Deportes has dared call that a "Certificado de Nivel C1" but it certainly comes close to being one. For all intents and purposes it will be an official document that will allow you to (let's say) hold a position in a public school in Murcia which requires C1 competency in English. It will probably be useless if you plan to work for the Finnish government but hey, at least it's not going to be the only-valid-in-Cantabria "diploma"  it was going to be.  In short, you'll get an accreditation NOT a certificate.

And now the learning material. This idea originated in the C1 classes but may also be helpful for those of you that are struggling to master the secrets of the intermediate level. I'm talking about those practical (if somewhat unfair) labels we sometimes use to refer to certain "social types". This website offers a funny chart where you might want to try and look for your own description.

Long time no see, uh? Well, well. Here I am again. The above photo was taken at the end of a C1 level class. It speaks volumes about the type of conversations that we have in the classroom, doesn't it?

Anyhow, today I will concentrate on the subject matter we're dealing with in the Intermediate courses, that is, telling lies. I don't know if many of you out there still remember a TV series called "Lie to me" which centered precisely on the refined techniques that experts (profilers, interrogators, analysts, etc,) use in order to determine if an informant/witness is telling the truth or not. I found this website, where a writer shamelessly promotes a book he published. The language is simple yet interesting. Pay attention to his use of the verb "to spot" and crime related vocabulary (falsely accused, embezzler) as well as some terms connected with body movements (which we have touched on in class, remember?). Last but not least, don't overlook collocations (catch/liar, severe/offense, commit/murder, etc.).

C1 students: persona, candid, sugar-coated, staff, to groom... Great words, uh? Well, they came up the other day and I was wondering if you jotted them down at all or simply chose to only understand them. By the way Mª Jesús was kind enough to share with me a link to an interesting video that shows a TED presentation by linguist John McWhorter. I happen to have read two of his books and I must say that he's a refreshing voice in the ever-growing world of linguistics. I actually think you will enjoy this...Enjoy!

Hello, my dearest Intermediate students. I just wanted to let you all know that we're dealing with wildlife issues and you are expected to handle the vocabulary that we have presented in the classroom. Terms such as die out, kill off, environment, conservationist, etc. are expected to be used in the debate we are going to stage. So read up on all that and do make sure that you can at least voice your own opinion on the matter.

As for you, C1 students, I thought it would be nice of me to inform you that we're going to (briefly) tackle the tricky art of graphs and trends. So that you are not caught off guard, here's the heads-up: I suggest you should take a glance at this website, which will show you the most basic vocab you will need.

Regarding the gadgets, gizmos and contraptions we discussed yesterday, I thought you might want to read the plotline of that episode of "Black Mirror" (the Channel 4 TV series I told you about). This is how the wikipedia article puts it:

Set in an alternative reality where most people have a 'grain' implanted behind their ear which records everything they do, see or hear. This allows memories to be played back either in front of the person's eyes or on a screen, a process known as a 're-do'.

Not bad, eh? To the point, articulate, compact. It's all very C1-ish don't you think? Anyhow, if you should like to know more about this episode just click here and scroll down to "The Entire History Of You". Apparently Robert Downey Jr. (a.k.a. Ironman) was so impressed with that episode that decided to make a motion picture out of it... I dread to think what Hollywood hacks might to that near-flawless script.

To resonate, to cherry-pick, frumpy, critique, stroller, busker, swine... all that came up in class. Do you remember?

Hi! This is only (that is to say... preferably) for my C1 students. Pedro was thoughtful enough to share a link to this website. It's all about tips that help you make your life a lot easier. Not exactly chindogus but something "in the vicinity" of it, don't you think?

Hey everybody. How many of you follow this blog? Is it six? Seven? I really don't know... Anyhow, for those of you out there that read my posts here is a list of expressions that you should be able to use:

Intermedio 2

Me preocupan los efectos secundarios.

Todo me da vueltas.

Creo que he pillado algo.

Me duele la espalda cada vez que estornudo.

Creo que podría estar embarazada.

Mi suegra se ha puesto de parto.

Me podría recetar un analgésico.

Se va a operar las orejas de soplillo.

Me hago un chequeo todos los años.

Tengo la tensión alta.

Le dio un ictus.

Voy a vomitar.

Tienes fiebre.

If you find yourself scratching your head because you can't think of an acceptable translation for those sentences... well, that means you should probably go over your notes. If that's not the case you're on the right path to Pass City (if you catch my drift).

C1 students: I'll post something for you soon enough. In the meantime you may have some fun reading about this ground-breaking method that will allows you to learn Mandarin in 8 months. It has been developed by a Spaniard who apparently aims at exploiting the gullible. Be that as it may, the creator of the method is giving interviews all over the place. We've seen the "natural way", "English with 1000 words". When will this nonsense stop?

Let's see... Happy New Year, everyone! Time surely flies when you're having fun, doesn't it? My last post is almost a full month old. The Xmas season is over and exams are round the corner. Where does that leave us? Well, the intermediate groups are looking into the mesmerizing world of interior design while my C1 class concentrates hard on the intricacies of the criminal underworld. So whilst some students think of adjectives that can describe Ikea furniture others wrack their brains trying to discuss the process of disabling a handgun (which is, incidentally, the way one refers to it).

FP students: the clock keeps ticking. We are going to learn ways to generalize and avoid sweeping statements.

Intermediate 2 students: we're about to complete unit 4, which means we will devote the rest of our classes to revising. I will give you back your compositions next week.

C1 students: those of you who agreed to get involved in my video project should start looking at that calendar so we can schedule a "recording session". You will get your essays on Monday.

And that's it for now