Siri's responses

Ever wondered what makes our conversations truly human? Multiple factors you’ll say. Yes. For obvious reasons, I’m not going to discuss all of them. I’ll simply center on two which really can help you all make your English sound a little more natural.

Most of us think that we people are spontaneous, original, unpredictable talking creatures. Unfortunately the odds of us uttering words that have never ever been said before is next to nil. Yep. The sad truth is we use a kind of pre-cooked language, full of idioms we didn’t invent, connotations that existed before we were embryos, stock phrases that have been around for centuries, puns that have already been used, and so on and so forth. The vast majority of everything we say has been used before (for example the very combination of the words vast and majority). It really takes a lot of eloquence for someone to produce completely original sentences. At best we use variations on “ready-made” sequences. Why do I say this? Well, because as language learners we should profit from that finite set of sequences.

You may settle for “grammatical answers” but the problem is grammatical answers may sound quite robotic, misleading or plain wrong. Consider these two exchanges:

Situation 1

Interviewer: So, I understand you would like to work for our company?

Javier: Yes.

Interviewer: And would you care to tell us why?

Javier: No.

Interviewer: Do you have any previous experience in this area?

Javier: Yes.

Situation 2

Stranger: Could you tell me the time.

Javier: Yes, I could.

Even if the person answering the questions understands them and offers grammatically correct responses… we realize there is something clearly wrong about them.

Siri, the computer program which Apple devices use as a personal assistant, sounds a lot more human than Javier. One of its humanlike features lies in the fact that Siri never gives you a curt answer, like Javier in situation number 1. (S)he’ll say something like “Thank you. It’s nice to be appreciated”. Mind you: there’s no actual need for the second second sentence. What do we learn from that? Well, for starters, we should realize that we, humans, talk like that. We say unnecessary things all the time. Conclusion: you want to sound “natural”? Say something which is not needed but may help keep the conversation human.

The second feature we should pay attention to is Siri’s range of answers. When you compliment Siri on his/her voice. It will provide one of a number of different replies. Consider these sentences: You have a good voice. You’re voice is very sexy. I like your voice. You’re voice is very nice.

Here are some of Siri’s responses:

Thank you. Its nice to be appreciated.

Thank you, Javier. I’m glad you like my dulcet tones.

Thank you. Tra, la, la.

I’ve just been practicing

Thank you. I think it’s too soon to try out for American Idol, but someday, Javier. Someday.

The point I’m trying to make here is… when somebody asks you: “How are you?” How many answers are you ready to offer? Two? Three? Is that enough? What about a Friday night situation? You meet your friends for a night out. Somebody asks you What do you feel like doing? How many answers come to mind? One? Two? Three? Is that the actual scope of your Friday night? In the meantime, if you own an iPhone, you may want to kill some time by asking Siri about the meaning of life. She may give you up to ten different answers.

My dear Avanzado 1 students. This post is for you.

In the recent exam you were asked to discuss the advantages and disadvantages of low-cost airlines. Remember? If you feel now that you didn’t know the essential vocabulary just read this very brief article about the subject. It is not exactly an inspired piece of glorious journalism (it even has some spelling mistakes) but, for the purpose of our course, it can be extremely useful. Look at the actual vocabulary the author uses and, please, pay close attention to those ideas you wanted to express but didn’t quite know how to.

Remember what I always tell you in the classroom. Collocations are key. What does the parliament do with a law? They pass it. What do decent citizens do? They abide by the laws. What do crooks do to laws? They break them. How are you going to talk about laws if you are not able to use verbs like pass, break or abide? Tough, uh? Okay. Read that little article and learn how to say things like tarjeta de embarque, tarifas, agobios, etc.

Anyway. I'm happy with the results. If you don't believe me simply play the video below to understand why, despite the fact that there is still room for improvement, I have my reasons to keep smiling.

N.B. Mind the spelling mistake in the article. It says "attune" where it should say "attuned".

Hyperpolyglots on Saint Valentine's Day

Hi everyone,

Okay, here’s the thing… over the past few weeks I have repeatedly mentioned “a talk I’m working on”. I believe that I may have even touched on some of the points I mean to tackle in it. The weird part is that, well, I have neglected to share with you any details about the actual event (in this day and age anything that happens is considered “an event”). So let me correct that: I’m going to give this talk twice: on Tuesday (Feb 14) at 19:15 in Laredo. The day after I’ll make the same presentation in the Ataúlfo Argenta High School in Castro Urdiales at 19:00 (Room B3). What is it about? Well… It's about hyperpolyglots. Who are these people?

According to the official definition, anybody who can speak six or more languages qualifies as a hyperpolyglot. Don't frown like that. It's not such a bizarre thing. We all have heard some guy on TV casually mention that a certain supermodel speaks five languages and just a very quick Internet search will have you believe that the current pope speaks anywhere between three and eight languages (it depends on the sycophant). Some even claim that he is conversant in Latin, an assertion which is blantantly false. And yet language superlearners do exist. Yes, they do. Believe it or not, some people do manage to speak a dozen languages to a very high standard. If you want find out how they do it, come to the talk. It will be fun.

In the meantime enjoy this beautiful Saint Valentine’s song, written and performed by sir Paul McCartney. He even directed the video clip!

A glorious case of mistaken identity

Hello my dearest students,

First off, I feel that I owe you an apology for the long silence. I’ve been busy with a million other things.

Avanzado 1. Those of you who have not turned in their assignment remember you can still do so. The task is quite simple: just record yourselves on video for 60 seconds discussing any of the topics we have touched on in class and bring me the file on a USB drive.

Avanzado 2. I would like you all to write a 200-word essay giving advice to a sixteen-year-old person. Just remember what you were like at that age and try and bear in mind everything you have learnt ever since.

In these past two weeks we have been working in several interesting areas. Avanzado 1 students have been dealing with verb patterns (Sean regrets saying those things, She refused to acknowledge the problem, I deluded myself into believing it, etc). We have all brushed up on the use of modals to express uncertainty. We should try and fight that impulse to settle for Spanish-sounding expressions such as Perhaps I will go or Maybe he was Dutch because, even though they are grammatically okay they prevent us from ever producing more natural sentences like I might go or He must have been Dutch. 

A second reminder has to do with fixed expressions that you may plug into any conversation. How about I don’t remember all the details but I think he said… or The thing is… I think I’m in love with her. A third point to consider is that of lexical chunks like, for instance, I walked up to him or He ended up working in a soup kitchen. Ideally, the words in bold type should somehow “flow out of you”. 

The funny thing is that we have all discussed the hilarious case of Guy Goma. Bizarrely enough, it features in coursebooks. Avanzado 1 students check out your workbook. Avanzado 2 please take a gander at page 70 of your textbook. It seems that both Pearson and Oxford University Press think of it as a memorable blunder. I think you will enjoy the video below. In a very entertaining way it sums up the unforgettable BBC interview which turned the charming Guy Goma into an internet celebrity.

 

 N.B. After the exam week I will return ALL essays.