Lockdown - Day 46

Today I would like to revisit a grammar area that I touched on some days ago: the use of prepositions in relative sentences. For the most part, it's all rather straightforward. There are, however, some facets of this topic that may still elude advanced speakers. For those of you that aspire to consolidate your C1 level, here you have a humble contribution to the subject.

Lockdown - Day 44

CHAPTER ONE

On March 22, an old friend of mine sent me a video clip put together by three guys in their twenties who had decided to write songs about the lockdown in order to fend off boredom. They went on to record themselves playing the tunes on their Barcelona rooftop and share the clips on Instagram. Fortunately, they were smart enough to also put the clips on YouTube. They go by Stay Homas.

I was really impressed with the quality of the music and the general feel-good vibe that the trio gives off, but, true to form, I couldn’t help myself and texted back “it's a pity that confination is a nonword”. Yes. Lockdown or quarantine would have been perfect choices. Unfortunately, these three musicians didn't bother to use a dictionary. So on March 23 they uploaded "Got To Be Patient" to their YouTube channel. Are you curious about the tune? If you are you can check it out below this very line.

CHAPTER TWO

On April 3 a different friend sent me a link to this article on New Yorker magazine, which, surprisingly enough, features the happy-go-lucky Stay Homas. I was quick to notice that the journalist had also realized the fact that confination is not an actual word, but he thought that “it still sounded good: `I got to be patient, so let’s enjoy this confination' ”. I then learned that the Stay Homas had made a point of writing one quarantine song every single day. I loved the idea.

So. Let's get to the linguistic side of all this. Is the American journalist right? The answer is: ABSOLUTELY. The word is technically wrong, of course, but only technically. And that, my dear students, is the beauty of a language, any language. If a large enough number of people choose to use a made-up term it eventually will join that ocean of concepts we call vocabulary. Such is the fate of certain neologisms. Strange as it may seem, there was a time when people thought of words like the noun brunch or the verb to google as useless preposterous inventions. Would it be possible for confination to become a real word?

CHAPTER THREE

Just a few hours ago I was watching the news on Televisión Española when something unexpected made my jaw drop to the floor. World famous crooner Michael Bublé has recorded a version of "Got To Be Patient". As I enjoyed the start of the video clip I wondered if the Canadian singer would use the nonexistent word or replace it with a more elegant synonym. Well, he left the line untouched and sang "let's enjoy this confination". Whoever edited the YouTube video thought it wise to insert a sort of Pulp-Fiction-esque trigger warning explaining how the term confination, albeit rare and nonstandard, is indeed a word. Such a priceless, wonderful spin! Now, isn't that a truly happy ending for the three creative Catalans? 

MORAL OF THE STORY

I know the metaphor is old and trite, but the truth is every language is "a living creature". It is speakers not institutions that make language change happen. Serendipitous mistakes sometimes become accepted expressions while great ideas fall by the wayside. Whatever its reasons, change is unstoppable. So be a part of it! Cherish the language you are learning. Use it in lots of different ways. Try things out. Enjoy the nuances, the fun novelties, the wondrous relics. Marvel at the discoveries. Learn from your errors. Feel proud of your acquisitions. It all pays off in the end. Take my word for it.

Lockdown - Day 43

In my last post I explored the differences between general terms (hypernyms) and specific words (hyponyms). I don't need to remind you that I am all for accuracy... as long as it is not pedantic, that is. As I said in the video, overprecision can be ludicrous. Just imagine a friend who's telling you how he met his new girlfriend and starts his story like this:

I was sitting on a chair made of birchwood, with my back at an angle of 43 degrees relative to the floor, which by the way was covered with Mexican ceramic tiles...

Granted. I did go a little overboard. I know, but you get what I mean, don't you? We should be accurate only whenever it's necessary. Take the image below this very line:

How would you describe it? Would you say it's a picture? A painting? A printout? A sketch? A portrait? A drawing? A doodle? It is obviously a version of Nighthawks, a work of art which at this point should definitely be familiar with, but... does it qualify as a parody? Pay attention to the bottle of bleach on the counter. It refers to the recent press conference in which president Trump suggested that injecting disinfectant into a Covid-19 patient's lungs might kill the virus. So it might have been published by some online newspaper. Can we call it cartoon? Do you realize how many choices you must make? If you thought of something along the lines of "a parody of the iconic painting by Edward Hopper" you would be on to something. It's accurate and yet not off-putting. Remember what I said in the video that I devoted to the concept of idiolect? Choices. It all comes down to choices.

Lockdown - Day 40

We change gears now. From the passive voice to hypernyms and hyponyms, which essentially are fancy words for two kinds of lexical items: "general" and "specific". Does that ring any bells?

In the presentation below I spend 14 minutes going on about the several reasons why we, advanced learners, need to incorporate accurate vocabulary. Case in point: the very phrasal verb "to go on about" is quite unspecific insofar as it doesn't tell you how I go on about. More precise verbs would be "to harp on about" and "bang on about", which have obvious negative connotations. Anyway, the video is a different way of presenting the same old thing: you should be ready to be accurate. I hope I've managed to make my point abundantly clear.

Lockdown - Day 39

Hi, my dear grammar-hungry pupils. You thought I wouldn't post this late? Think again. Okay. Let's get to the point: the passive. 

Ultimately, the word passive stems from the Latin verb pati, which means suffer. From that very same root we get vocabulary as common as patient (the one who suffers), passion (suffering) and patience, (the ability to suffer while someone takes their time to turn up or when you teach someone how to drive). I know it's not particularly useful information, but I bet you like these trivial nuggets of information. Anyhow, from those unpleasant origins we get a word whose meaning has morphed into something quite different. We say someone is passive when they don't take action, probably because they are content with being acted upon, as a result of which being passive is tantamount to being the "recipient" of an action, not necessarily a painful one. It is, of course, rather tempting to argue that being a passive often leads to some form of suffering, but that belongs to a different conversation.

Those of you in my C1.1 class should have received an exercise about the passive voice by mail. I'll send you the answers tomorrow. So I would like to say something to my C1.2 students. Also about the passive voice. By the way, big shout-out to my three followers in the Ukraine. So, where was I? Oh, yeah. Tricky stuff about the truly advanced material. Check out these two special cases:

1. The imperative:

When we turn the sentence serve the best champagne into the passive voice it becomes let the best wine be served. It sounds quite formal and slightly old-fashioned. The fact that it makes me think of the memorable biblical verse: Let there be light may explain why I like it so much.


2. Verbs like make, see and let

Consider these sentences: they let me go (meaning they fired me) becomes I was let go. Also the verbs make, which do NOT take a "to" in the active voice but need one in the passive voice. Look at this example:

They made me do it > I was made to do it

Something similar happens when we use verbs such as see or hear.

They saw me get out >  I was seen to get out

As you see, the passive voice doesn't hold many surprises, but some things still need to be learned.

Lockdown - Day 38

In an era in which articulacy in the media takes a back seat to the ability to "connect" with an audience (whatever that means), it is interesting to notice how politicians and celebrities have perfected the use of language to produce versions of what has come to be termed as the non-apology apology. Not familiar with the concept? The non-apology apology is a shrewd rhetorical device which consists in a statement whereby a public figure pretends to apologize for a mistake (sexual misconduct, agressive behaviour, racist remarks, unethical politics, etc.) without actually apologizing for anything.

I still remember Russell Crowe's infamous apology on TV, when he said "I'm sorry about what happened". He failed to mention a tiny detail, namely, that he had thrown a telephone at a hotel concierge, who subsequently sustained a cut under his eye. That's what happened. Anyway, this blog is not about good actors with short fuses. So let's just analyze Mr. Crowe's words: "I'm sorry about what happened".

Do you notice what he did? In that sentence there are two verbs (am and happened), but only one of them has a personal subject. So, Russell Crowe was sorry that something happened. In other words, he did nothing wrong. He did not own up to anything at all. That is the kind of structure that an understanding friend might use to show empathy: "I'm sorry that it rained on your wedding day".

By using apology-related vocabulary, words like sorry or regret, a celebrity can dupe a listener into believing that they are really showing remorse for what they did. On closer inspection, all those statements turn out to be evasive, vague and definitely unapologetic. How do they do that?

The video below, which centers on non-apologies in US politics, points out how President Nixon's strategies have been replicated over the years. The narrator says exactly this:

"You can hear the same notes, the same conditionals, indefinites and passive voice in dozens of political apologies"

(02:43)

Indeed, it all comes down to grammar. And it is here that we find a reason for mastering the abovementioned techniques:

• Conditionals: I'm sorry if I offended anyone
• Indefinites: Somehow I offended her 
• Passive voice: Mistakes were made

Nouns also play an important role. An agression becomes the incident. An abuse of power is described as the course of events. In my view, however, of all those tricks the passive voice is arguably the most perverse because it removes the person from the equation, as it were. And I think a student should master this verbal form, mostly because it is often necessary. The passive voice can be necessary when the person responsible for a particular action is irrelevant (3,000 surgical masks are manufactured everyday in this plant) or not immediately important (your mother has been mugged). The passive voice also allows us to sound professionally detached from the facts that we explain or comment on.

In this second video I briefly discuss the causative passive. It is for my C1.1 class, but of course, you're welcome to check it out if you feel like refreshing your memory.

Lockdown - Day 37

As promised, here you have a post about our new obsession: idiolects.

By and large, most students expect to obtain information from teachers and textbooks. And that's fine. However the real world is a chaotic jungle full of information that no textbook can possibly encapsulate. What is more, I don't think a book should overwhelm students with ten different idioms which mean the same thing. That's why we are customarily offered only a few expressions... a little menu, if you will, from which we are supposed to select an option. The consequence of that approach seems obvious: every student in a specific group will learn to speak in the same manner. Is that outcome logical or even desirable in the advanced level? I think not.

I will not deny that in the early stages of the learning process every student is meant to learn words such as chisel, dashboard, tile or gall bladder, which by the way, don't have many synonyms. Sooner or later, though, students realize they have to start making decisions. Just consider this set of stock phrases:

• Let's cut to the chase
• Let's get to the point
• Let's get down to brass tacks
• Let's get down to the nitty-gritty
• Let's get down to business
• Let's focus on the essentials
• Let's dispense with the formalities

Roughly speaking, all of them have the same meaning, right? The question is: which one do you usually choose when you speak English? You may find two or three of those in a textbook but, over the years, you may have been exposed to some others. So, again, which one is your favorite? You have to make a decision.

To illustrate just how critical those little decisions can be, I have put together a short video for you. Some of the examples in the clip I have already used in class. Sorry about that. Anyhow, it is not my intention to belabor a rather simple point. I just think that some of you could use a bit of refreshing. I hope it's useful.

Lockdown - Day 36

Hi again. I'm back. Safe and sound. Alive and kicking. Still breathing. You too? That's excellent news.

So let's get down to brass tacks. After spending some time looking into the messy world of the English prepositions I think the time has come for us to take a step back, pull focus and look at the big picture.

I fear we're not going back to the classroom anytime soon. Yet I think we can still make progress. Over the past few months I have explained to you what the essence of the advanced level is about. Those of you that were fresh out of a B2 class know now what's expected from you. The C1.2 students are old hands at this and, if anything, have become even more aware of they should be doing.

So, what can I do for you at this juncture? I'm afraid that we, teachers at the advanced level, are not unlike those guys on the airport tarmac that waving around the flashlights. Our main (and possibly only) job consists in showing our students the way. We cannot do the learning for you nor can we force you to get the exposure you need to become familiar with turns of phrases... but you already know that. If you're reading this post, you are still hacking your way through the C1 jungle, which means that you're not quite content with your command of the language you have chosen to master. Good. Stay hungry. I'm going to keep posting on this blog and creating content for you to deepen your knowledge of our beloved second language.

My plan revolves around the idea of revising everything we have seen so far and offer specific "customized" feedback, but before we do that I'd like to center on a topic that will (hopefully) increase your language awareness. Yes. Tomorrow I'm going to upload a video that will discuss the concept of idiolect, which I consider to be key in your learning process.

Anyway, that'll be tomorrow. Today I would like you all to watch the video below. In under three minutes astronaut Chris Hadfield gives you some pointers as to how you should deal with self-isolation. The video is priceless not only because it offers some useful information (all the more relevant considering he's been locked up in a space station for a long long time) but also because it offers very interesting vocabulary you should absolutely steal and use.

If you pay close attention, you'll realize that Chris Hadfield uses quite a few synonymous terms and expressions. For instance when he poses these three questions:

• What are you trying to accomplish?
• What are your objectives?
• What's your mission?

They mean basically the same thing but elicit from the listener different reactions. Together they make a powerful point. He then goes on to offer a synonym for mission. He is focused, accurate, concise and engaging. Perfect. So try to do just that. Think of some specific message you want to relay and put yourself to the test: can you say that (whatever it is) in English in under three minutes? That's a challenge for you right there.

Lockdown - Day 24

What makes us human? The answer to that question has occupied philosophers and thinkers since the dawn of times. Blade Runner (1982) suggested a though-provoking answer: it's empathy that makes us human. Other respected candidates have been self-awareness, creativity, ethics... Mark Twain famously stated that "mankind is the only animal that blushes or needs to". Is the ability to blush what really sets us apart? He was obviously joking... So, who's right? Nobody knows, but it's nice to try and come up with an answer.

Stephen Fry, for whom I have always had a soft spot, has done precisely that. In the short video below he explains why it is language that makes us human. Funnily enough, he refers to people like me: those who correct speakers who say less when they should say fewer. I my defense I have repeatedly said that, even though I don't approve of such uses, I don't think writing less students is such a dreadful error. Anyway, one of the interesting things about this video lies in the fact that Stephen Fry mentions a couple of "native mistakes": confusion about similar words (infer and imply, uninterested and disinterested) agreement (none of them is or none of them are?) He is right when he vituperates the rude pedants that take pride in their alleged superiority (people who probably use fancy verbs such as vituperate). Nevertheless his point may be misunderstood. We should not condone any non-standard use of the language just because it's what thousands of speakers favor.

I'm afraid that Stephen Fry can afford to deride persnickety teachers and outraged newspaper readers because he himself has an impressive command of the English language and would never stoop to using an uneducated inaccurate register. Yes. Every language is a bastard set of conventions (in 2008 professor John McWhorter wrote a wonderful book entitled Our Magnificent Bastard Tongue), which means that Stephen Fry is absolutely right. It is the speakers (not dictionaries or institutions) that keep a language alive. It's their energy that makes art and unexpected change possible. Unfortunately, all too often, evolution is viewed by prissy pedants as a form of degeneration. That said, I think defending colloquial vibrant usage is not tantamount to promoting the use of vulgar expressions, confusing structures or downright incorrect sequences. A sentences like I should have went should not be tolerated. Anyway, we ought not to become ridiculous snobs either. After all mistakes are an essential part of the history of every language.

Take the case of English. The word alligator is just a corrupted version of el lagarto. The name of Key West, one of Ernest Hemingway's favorite towns in the world, is actually an English Interpretation of the Spanish place-name Cayo Hueso. So, technically, that toponym originated as an embarrassing mistake. That said, similar or identical process happen in every language. Correctness tends to be a secondary concern when it comes to language change. In Spanish we guilty of the same sin. Take the case of our word for crocodile. To the best of my knowledge, most languages in Europe that failed to import the term "correctly". It's CROCOdile in English, KROKOdil in German, CROCOdile in French, KROKOdil in Swedish... Ultimately the term derives from the Greek word KROKOdilos. So why did Spaniards and Italians went a different way? In Spanish we say COCOdrilo, like the Italians, who say COCCOdrilo. Centuries ago the Spanish word hoja used to be a plural (folia). It was depluralized. That's the very same process that several Italian words such as confetti, spaghetti or paparazzi have undergone after being borrowed by Spanish speakers. In English the pronoun you used to be only a plural form. Things change.

But I digress.

If only because it's a joy to hear his voice, listen to what Mr. Fry has to say. Then try and decide what your own answer might sound like.

Lockdown - Day 23

Today I would like to spend some time on a simple strategy that can make your written English look great. It's not vocabulary that I'm going to discuss, but rather syntax. Check it out in the video below.

Lockdown - Day 22

As I had already announced, I am going to center on the "lowly" prepositions for some time. Understandably, you may say that prepositions belong in the intermediate level and you'll be right to point that out because, theoretically, you should be obsessed with broadening your range of expressive resources. Why should you go back to a grammar area that feels like Sesame Street material? Well I've got just the right answer. You need to brush up on your prepositions because accuracy deals with a lot more than precise vocabulary and clear pronunciation. It is also about using the right preposition!

I have edited the video below specially for you so you can refresh your memory and pay attention to ways in which you may expand your knowledge regarding those little particles we often take for granted. I do hope you find it useful.

Lockdown - Day 18

Nobody is perfect, says Osgood in the memorable final scene of Some Like It Hot. And it's true indeed. Nobody is perfect. Yet perfection remains a goal in many respects. Not in the world of art. According to a famous quote, whose authorship is unclear, a work of art is never completed, merely abandoned. By and large, artists know full well that real perfection is unattainable. And those who strive to achieve it may never come to anything. For that reason an old Italian adage reminds us that perfect is the enemy of good. However, perfectionists do exist. Who are they? People that don't accept anything short of flawless. In itself that is not necessarily a bad thing. Many of my favorite writers, musicians and filmmakers are/were pathologically obsessive about their craft and, while their all-consuming passion may have been a tragedy for their families, the fruits of their labor are a pleasure to all of us. Their obsession took them to the heights of excellence for which they are celebrated.

Why this sermon? Because over the next few days we are going to concentrate on the use of prepositions. Yes. I'm putting together a presentation about it (which I'll keep reasonably short this time). The reason behind it lies in the occasional mistakes you make when you choose an appropriate structure and the right words, but fail to use the correct preposition.

Don't worry. I'm all for imperfection, but within certain parameters. As advanced speakers, you're expected to make, well, "advanced mistakes". Mixing up gender pronouns or using the wrong tense does not belong in that category. Neither does the use of the wrong preposition. So be ready to work on those humble words.

That said, I think we should all take a chill pill and look East. Ex oriente lux, right? In Japan, aesthetic perfection is sometimes regarded with an arched eyebrow. I'm not talking about sleek cellphones or fancy cars. I'm talking about day-to-day life. Just a week ago, I brought up some beautiful Japanese terms one of which was kintsugi. If you want to know what it's about you should watch the video below these lines. Coming to terms with kintsugi goes a long way towards understanding why what we call imperfection may actually represent a meaningful, deeper form of beauty. So now you know. Whenever you submit a less than perfect essay you can always play the kintsugi card and try and convince me that the problem is not your command of the English language. You're simply embracing zen buddhism.

N.B. Tomorrow (Friday) you'll get an email with exercises that we will discuss in our next videoconference.

Lockdown - Day 17

There is a reason why I flat-out reject the inappropriate use of the word literally (which even my trusty Merriam Webster dictionary has sanctioned in its the second entry). I suppose it's a pet peeve of mine. However, the way I see it, if you are allowed to say I literally had a heart attack when you did not, then not only are you confusing your interlocutor but you're also lying. The standard excuse goes along the lines of "I was just using hyperbole". Okay. It's an exaggeration used for effect. To that I would counter that the hyperbolic use of the word literally is quite unnecessary. You can easily say "I thought I was going to have a heart attack" or "I nearly had a heart attack". Those phrases do the trick, don't they? The fact that somebody goes out of their way to insert an adverb whose meaning precisely points out that you are not being rhetorical is more than misleading. Come to think of it, it's not unlike wearing a T-shirt with the word "STAFF" printed on it when you don't belong to the staff of a particular company.

I'm writing about this because words matter. Meanings matter. And in these strange years of post-truth and fake news it has become urgent to be able to distinguish between fact and opinion. As sophisticated speakers, you should know a few techniques that will allow you to express yourself in an objective or professional manner, if need be. In order to do that you have to choose your words wisely.

Let's travel back in time a couple of weeks. On March 5 , the World Health Organization had informed the public that the death rate of the coronavirus among patients was 3.4%. Donald Trump stated publicly: "I think the 3.4% is really a false number". He went to say that it was his "hunch". Alright. Let's just forget the fact that he disputed the official figure with zero evidence so we can focus on his word choices.

He said "I think" and "my hunch". We all know Dirty Harry's dictum about opinions. So there's no need to go there, is there? Just think about how ridiculous it all sounds. Somebody has a hunch about a death rate. A hunch. It would have been a different story had he said: I have reason to believe... or after conferring with a panel of virologists I'm inclined to think... or words to that effect. But he didn't.

As learners of English, there is a line we must never lose sight of: the one that sets fact and opinions apart. When things get serious (e.g. at the oncologist's office) very few people care about hunches and personal opinions. As a matter of fact it's in those circumstances that misinformation can be truly dangerous. That's why the WHO is trying to debunk certain myths (falsehoods) regarding the infamous Covid-19. In a situation this serious there's no room for opinions. When it's appropriate you can, of course, be subjective and use phrases like:

• I have the sneaking suspicion that she might pass the test
• I have the feeling that we're onto something.
• I am under the impression that they don't like me.

That's actually good English. Just try not to be subjective (I think) about objective facts. After all you wouldn't say "I believe that the Moon's gravity is 64% that on Earth's surface", would you? When you speak at a press conference either you know it's 16,6% or you should not have an opinion about it at all. So, allow me to refresh your memory by listing some strategies that an advanced speaker can use in order to distance themselves from the facts and remain objective.

• Use the passive voice: It is widely believed that... Two raccoons were found dead
• Be specific: 73% of respondents is more accurate than most respondents. Don't say a very important scientist if you can say something like Peter Piot, a world-leading virologist.
• Refer to objetive sources of information: According to a new UN report
• Avoid your personal opinion: Conventional wisdom suggests
• Avoid value judgments: adjectives like scary, wonderful, impressive
• Avoid intensifiers such as: really, extremely, obviously

I want to believe that some of you turn to this humble blog not only to keep your English in good shape but also to get a distraction from the day-to-day routine. I sense this may be only wishful thinking. After all, I don't know that for a fact.

N.B. The topic for the essay is "modern living". Discuss the following statement: "Technological breakthroughs keep making our lives easier, but we still struggle to find meaning".