Siri's responses

Ever wondered what makes our conversations truly human? Multiple factors you’ll say. Yes. For obvious reasons, I’m not going to discuss all of them. I’ll simply center on two which really can help you all make your English sound a little more natural.

Most of us think that we people are spontaneous, original, unpredictable talking creatures. Unfortunately the odds of us uttering words that have never ever been said before is next to nil. Yep. The sad truth is we use a kind of pre-cooked language, full of idioms we didn’t invent, connotations that existed before we were embryos, stock phrases that have been around for centuries, puns that have already been used, and so on and so forth. The vast majority of everything we say has been used before (for example the very combination of the words vast and majority). It really takes a lot of eloquence for someone to produce completely original sentences. At best we use variations on “ready-made” sequences. Why do I say this? Well, because as language learners we should profit from that finite set of sequences.

You may settle for “grammatical answers” but the problem is grammatical answers may sound quite robotic, misleading or plain wrong. Consider these two exchanges:

Situation 1

Interviewer: So, I understand you would like to work for our company?

Javier: Yes.

Interviewer: And would you care to tell us why?

Javier: No.

Interviewer: Do you have any previous experience in this area?

Javier: Yes.

Situation 2

Stranger: Could you tell me the time.

Javier: Yes, I could.

Even if the person answering the questions understands them and offers grammatically correct responses… we realize there is something clearly wrong about them.

Siri, the computer program which Apple devices use as a personal assistant, sounds a lot more human than Javier. One of its humanlike features lies in the fact that Siri never gives you a curt answer, like Javier in situation number 1. (S)he’ll say something like “Thank you. It’s nice to be appreciated”. Mind you: there’s no actual need for the second second sentence. What do we learn from that? Well, for starters, we should realize that we, humans, talk like that. We say unnecessary things all the time. Conclusion: you want to sound “natural”? Say something which is not needed but may help keep the conversation human.

The second feature we should pay attention to is Siri’s range of answers. When you compliment Siri on his/her voice. It will provide one of a number of different replies. Consider these sentences: You have a good voice. You’re voice is very sexy. I like your voice. You’re voice is very nice.

Here are some of Siri’s responses:

Thank you. Its nice to be appreciated.

Thank you, Javier. I’m glad you like my dulcet tones.

Thank you. Tra, la, la.

I’ve just been practicing

Thank you. I think it’s too soon to try out for American Idol, but someday, Javier. Someday.

The point I’m trying to make here is… when somebody asks you: “How are you?” How many answers are you ready to offer? Two? Three? Is that enough? What about a Friday night situation? You meet your friends for a night out. Somebody asks you What do you feel like doing? How many answers come to mind? One? Two? Three? Is that the actual scope of your Friday night? In the meantime, if you own an iPhone, you may want to kill some time by asking Siri about the meaning of life. She may give you up to ten different answers.